THE UNITED CITIZEN-STATES OF AMERICA

“The chairman of the UCSA moves to give the floor to the state of John Brangus.”

“Thank you Mr. Chairman, but the state of JB moves to be known as the state of Johnny Brangus henceforth.”

“The chairman acknowledges and apologizes. Continue.”

“Mr. Chairman, Ms. Speaker, fellow citizen-states of the United Citizen-States of America, I move to grant a new holiday entitled USA day, to commemorate the time when our nation was still comprised of fifty locational states and each citizen was not yet granted his or her own statehood.”

“The motion has been heard. All those in favor?”

“Nah.”

“Meh.”

“Why bother?”

“The motion has been denied. The chairman moves to give the floor to the state of Molly Peably.”

“Juice box! Juice box mommy!”

“The chairman recognizes that the state of MP has brought a translator. Will the state of Rachel Peably kindly translate for the rest of the assembly?”

“Certainly, Mr. Chairman. The state of Molly Peably moves to open a line of trade with her fellow citizen-states in supplies of juice boxes.”

“And what can the state of MP offer in return for these juice boxes?”

“Horsie!”

“Mr. Chairman, the aforementioned state is prepared to trade in small figurines of horses.”

“Can the state of MP ensure that supplies of equine figurines are sufficient for interstate trade?”

“Mr. Chairman, Molly–the state of MP–has enough figurines to take up the entirety of this state’s garage, much to the annoyance of the state of Richard Peably.”

“Very well. Trade will be opened. Are there any citizen-states interested in this line of trade?”

“Ooh, ooh!”

“Me me me me me!”

“Mommy can I have one?”

“The chairman recognizes that lines of trade have been opened. Would any other citizen-states wish to take the floor?”

“Nope.”

“Not really.”

“Can I go home and play xbox now?”

“Very well. This adjourns today’s meeting of the United Citizen-States of America. Tomorrow’s meeting will focus on state lines and refreshments will kindly be made available by the state of Ethel Smith. Adjourned.”

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