[BEGIN TRANSCRIPT]

I check in. Of course I check in, sometimes twice in the same minute. I know what’s required of me, after all. Don’t look at me like that. As a matter of fact, why aren’t you checking in right now? There’s really nothing stopping you. Go ahead, I’ll wait.

[UNINTELLIGIBLE]

See, that doesn’t surprise me in the least. Try to accuse me of something, something unpatriotic. Something… disgusting.

[UNINTELLIGIBLE]

Well that’s exactly what I’m trying to say. If you’ll… yes, if you’ll check the feeds you’ll see that I checked in all day yesterday and the day before that too. Look at my toilet cam, I checked in then too, right when I was supposed to.

[UNINTELLIGIBLE]

I haven’t done anything wrong here. There’s no need to threaten me. Sir, please, this is all a misunderstanding. I reported my son for you. I gave you hundreds of names. Hundreds. I check in every day–post, too. I’d post right now if you’d only loosen my handcuffs. Please? I can’t feel my fingers.

[UNINTELLIGIBLE]

No. No. I didn’t mean it. I’m sure you check in all the time. You’re just busy is all. Just busy. Please, no! I didn’t mean it!

[LOUD CRASH]

[…]

[WHIMPERING]

I can’t feel my legs. Oh God.

[UNINTELLIGIBLE]

No no no, I didn’t say God! It was no. Oh no. Please, I’ll check in from now on! I’ll–I’ll post and I’ll share links and I’ll like pictures and I’ll share! I’ll share!

[UNINTELLIGIBLE]

That’s not true! He made it up! I would never try to block access! My network is your network, right?! Check my messages! They were all in keeping with the best interests of the network! I’m a patriotic man just like you!

[UNINTELLIGIBLE]

Please, I need medical attention. My legs.

[UNINTELLIGIBLE]

I wouldn’t–I’d—no, I would never suggest that. We need nothing but the network. I burned all my books long before it was required. Had a bonfire in the front lawn, made a big show of it. That’s just not true. I’d spit on one right now. Go ahead–bring one in and I’ll spit on it right in front of you. Burn it right afterward, too. We need nothing but the network.

[UNINTELLIGIBLE]

No, don’t! I’ll do anything! Kill my family! Please, no! Anything but that!

[HIGH-PITCHED WHINE]

[…]

[END TRANSCRIPT]

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