In a rare unilateral effort, the United Influenzal Force has condemned recent H7N9 incursions into the human population as “blatant and flagrant imperialist actions”, citing the virus’s repeated flouting of UIF sanctions in its spread from avians to the admittedly prime target of humans. The move is backed by several viral worker unions, the majority of which have seen their wages dwindle in the face … Continue reading THE INFLUENZA TIMES


“The chairman of the UCSA moves to give the floor to the state of John Brangus.” “Thank you Mr. Chairman, but the state of JB moves to be known as the state of Johnny Brangus henceforth.” “The chairman acknowledges and apologizes. Continue.” “Mr. Chairman, Ms. Speaker, fellow citizen-states of the United Citizen-States of America, I move to grant a new holiday entitled USA day, to … Continue reading THE UNITED CITIZEN-STATES OF AMERICA


Most people would probably consider visiting the catacombs the creepiest part of making the rounds in Rome, but I think it’s pretty damn cool. Granted, I was raised on Night of the Living Dead and Tales from the Crypt, and my idea of a good time involves lots of red-dyed corn syrup, a couple friends and a camcorder, but still. Funny enough, our tour guide … Continue reading CATACOMBS